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Monologue: I Am the Off-Screen Bathroom Renovation Project That Justifies the Male Lead’s Infidelity in This Indie Movie

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I Am the Off-Screen Bathroom Renovation Project That Justifies the Male Lead’s Infidelity in This Indie Movie

Hey, do you mind if I break the third wall here? Given everything that’s happened, culturally, over the last year, I’ve been feeling like I need to justify myself a little bit. I’m the off-screen bathroom renovation project whose mere mention in a long distance phone call gives the male protagonist of this cool indie movie permission to engage in some infidelity while on a business trip in t-minus three, two…

See what I mean? Now the charming main character is in the hotel bar while this younger woman laughs at his jokes. He looks alive for the first time since he got in a cab outside the house that doesn’t reflect who he is. Honestly, he would be fine just peeing in an old Shasta bottle and living on a floating island of garbage. He doesn’t even need food or a real doctor. Or, at least, not food prepared in a kitchen in a house. Left to his own devices, he could scale his work hours back to like, five hours of freelancing a week and just live in a homeless shelter. Why does the wife character insist on living in that light-filled brownstone with pans and children and health care? She kind of sucks. And she’ll be too tired to watch this movie, so we can just be real about that.

Remember how, as the husband is getting ready to get in the cab to the airport for his business trip, there’s that shot of the toddler screaming with snot running down his face? God, that kid really needs to get it together. Whose idea was it to have that kid? Marcy will actually be doing the main character a favor if she starts talking about grout colors and the contractors when he calls home because then he will have carte blanche to fuck anything that moves at his business trip hotel. But in a way that’s kind of soul searching and important to his journey.

Now, full disclosure, before Marcy started renovating me I was the Amityville Horror bathroom. Literally, they brought the Amityville Horror set out of storage and had the actors hang out on it to workshop their characters before they started filming this quiet indie film. The actors explored how it was awkward for a couple in their late thirties to have a toilet telling people to get out and then flushing uncontrollably. And they improvised some pretty raw scenes, which didn’t make the final cut, where Marcy would bring up during sex that it could be nice to have one of those low-flow eco toilets in the bathroom, and not a direct hotline to Satan.

But there’s no time to dwell on that! The attractive and single sales rep is guiding our likable if somewhat lost male lead by the hand to her hotel room and who can blame him for allowing this to happen? Not that toddler, who needs to get his shit together. And not Marcy. Talking about home improvement projects like me for even a second during a long distance phone call justifies immediate infidelity. Did you know, in some cultures, a man can divorce a woman if she says “the contractors” three times in a phone call? There’s a certain wisdom in that.

Look, we don’t know a lot about Marcy. She wears jeans, she has a sensible haircut, she seems like a great mom. Blah blah blah. The bottom line is, she doesn’t have an inner life. If she did, this movie would be about her. But there is no way to make a movie about a mom going about her day unless Michelle Pfeiffer is in it, and she realizes that she would be happier if she stopped neglecting her family and quit her job just in time to stop her husband from hooking up with someone else. That movie is a fun chick flick that you can see with your girlfriends on your own time. This is a real movie, and Marcy will be punished for trying to make the bathroom nicer.

Believe it or not, I’m actually in talks right now to develop my own series with Netflix. The idea is to do kind of an anthology thing where I get rehabbed by a different woman each season and her husband goes on a kind of Caligula-like sex rampage. We’re working on getting permission from Jim Henson’s estate to have the Marcy character played by Aughra from The Dark Crystal. See, it totally works! Cheat away, male lead character, probably played by a British actor!

Or we might just do the whole thing as a Disney Pixar animated series where the only female character is this big-bottomed pair of mom jeans who gets lost in a Home Depot. It’s actually pretty dark. But, you know, so was Bambi.

So, yep, don’t worry about me. I’ll still be seeing you bitches at Sundance.

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Source

http://mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-am-the-off-screen-bathroom-renovation-project-that-justifies-the-male-leads-infidelity-in-this-indie-movie

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Another Trap For Home Improvement Contractors

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In a case of first impression, a court in Suffolk County holds that a licensed home improvement contractor whose license expires in mid-project is not entitled to recover for services performed thereafter.

Most counties in New York State have licensing laws requiring that home improvement contractors possess a special license at the time of entering into a home improvement contract.  Failure to obtain the license means that the contractor may not sue for the money it is owed—even where there is no dispute that the work was properly performed and the money would otherwise have been due.

Over the years, courts have addressed a variety of permutations surrounding this requirement.  For example, it has been held that although an unlicensed contractor may not sue for amounts due, the homeowner is not entitled to get money back which it has already paid.  Other courts have held that if you can’t sue for your money, you also can’t file a mechanic’s lien for it.  And it matters not if you sue for breach of contract or under some other quasi-contractual theory.

But in a new issue which presented itself for the first time, a judge in Suffolk County held that if the home improvement license expires in mid-job, one can only sue for the money earned prior to its expiration (if it was not timely renewed).  The court recognized that there was a certain amount of unfairness in requiring a contractor which was licensed when it entered into the contract to forgo its undisputed earnings.  But it felt it had no choice but to rule as it did.

The effect of this holding was to find that a landscaping contractor (yes, landscapers are subject to the home improvement licenses in Suffolk County) was able to recover only the $3,557 it earned before its license expired, not the $14,660 it earned after it expired.

Sometimes a good diary is more important than a good lawn mower.

Winter 2018 | By: Randy J. Heller, Esq.

Source

http://www.gdblaw.com/Another-Trap-For-Home-Improvement-Contractors

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Leela Cyd Kitchen Renovation Tour

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When you’re a photographer who’s shot more than 150 kitchens over the course of a decade — oh, and you’ve published a book called Styling For Instagram— chances are you’ve been saving up inspirations for your own dream kitchen that you hope to have one day. At least, that was the case for Leela Cyd, who just recently finished her family’s Santa Barbara kitchen renovation after years of taking mental notes while on assignments for Kitchn, Saveur and The New York Times.

“I’m inspired by old-fashioned kitchens that are imbued with a lot of personality and eclectic materials, and I always felt a little sad to go back home to my rental kitchens after photographing the umpteenth awesome kitchen that someone poured their soul into in order to make it theirs,” Leela says.

To say she had plenty of inspiration would be an understatement. There was the imperfect, homemade quality of Joan and Jim’s kitchen, where Joan wallpapered the cabinets with posters she fancied and tucked old pots and pans into the room’s nooks and crannies. Or Avery’s kitchen, which made the most out of a small space and allowed her to perfect her pickling products. And visual surprises like the big, colorful balloon sculpture in Gregory’s kitchen in the dead of Oregon winter.

(Image credit: David Kikpatrick)

But the thing that inspired her the most was the vintage Wedgewood stove that belonged to her fairy godmother Joan. “I grew up cooking at her side and always loved this functional piece of art/furniture. She taught me to make peach pie as a teenager and would surprise me at the end by making an ‘L’ in pie dough and sticking it on top — it made me feel like a million bucks,” Leela remembers. “I knew since I was designing my dream kitchen, I needed to have my dream stove. It was the same price to buy an old one and get it restored as it was to buy a nice new stove, so we commenced the search/rehab project and, when we found one, had it restored by Bernie at Antique and Vintage Stovetop in Ventura, California. We decided on stove placement first, and everything else was designed around that.”

The resulting kitchen is indeed an eclectic space overflowing with personality that feels like a retro throwback and a chic, modern-day kitchen all at the same time — custom cabinetry, open shelving, a fun checkerboard floor, and collected artwork. Read on to find out how Leela and her husband landed on the perfect shade of pink, and what else she had to say about her most personal project yet, 150 kitchens in the making!

What do you take note of when you’re photographing other kitchens?

I’ve always paid attention to organizational principles that might work with my cooking style, and I try to implement some of their methods into my own setup. If someone is an avid tea drinker (as I am), I’ll peek with keen interest at how they keep that addiction organized. If they make a lot of soups and salads, I’ll pay particular interest to their favorite Dutch oven pot, low bowls, and how they arrange their cooking utensils. It’s wonderful to see a simpatico cook in a personalized space with everything they love and use most at their fingertips.

I also love a generous soul in the kitchen who invites me in, tells me of their cooking highs and lows, and immediately offers a warm beverage or whisky — that always started the kitchen tour off right and spoke volumes of the inhabitant.

Before the renovation.

(Image credit: Leela Cyd)

What made you finally ready to pay attention to your own kitchen?

When we moved into our little 1950 (actually 1953) track home in the spring of 2016, we lived with a totally functionless kitchen for a few months — we knew we were going to get around to it sometime. Then I got pregnant and BAM! We had to figure out the kitchen, stat. I did not want to have a baby with a kitchen that had a barely working fridge, no dishwasher, a sink with cabinets that hit your head when you did the dishes, and not one counter to do work on. So we set out to renovate our kitchen. We did it in about four months. It was brutal, but we did it our way.

What ideas from other kitchens have worked out the best for you?

I like a very well-stocked kitchen and feel anxious if I don’t have a variety of grains, beans, and pastas at the ready. I’ve seen glorious walk-in pantries or just well-organized cupboards, but I prefer a couple of deep drawers where I can throw in bulk big bags or random purchases from Bob’s Red Mill or artisan shops.

I aspire to jars and labels, but haven’t gotten that far. This works for us and, as a vegetarian cook, the pantry dry goods are key to spinning quick meals where I add seasonal produce, a blob of hummus or yogurt, some cheese, and fresh herbs.

You and your husband are both artists, so color was important to you. Tell us more about the amazing pink hue and what your inspiration was!

Pink is my power color. I love to wear it, contemplate variations of it, I’m drawn to it for photography and painting — you name it, I want to paint it pink. My husband is an avid fan of the happy tone as well, so that decision was easy for us. The brand and color is Vista Paint’s Dainty Debutante 0056 (we added 25 pecent more saturation at the paint shop to the color to get it more vivid).

The inspiration for this particular shade came from our travels to beautiful destinations and observing the stunning walls of apartments in Italy, New Orleans, and India. We’ve gravitated toward this peachy pink for a long time, enjoying how it looks different in sunshine, evening light, and dawn. We went through about 10 pink paint samples, deeming some “too cotton candy,” others “too girly,” and still others “too peach.”

It takes a little while to whittle down choices to the perfect shade; I’m always surprised at how nuanced color is and how a touch more, say, blue can really change the attitude of a color. I love to make color decisions quickly and recklessly, so thankfully my husband helps temper this impulse paint technique and makes us do swatch testing!

Where did everything come from?

For the dishwasher, we went all in with a Miele. The cabinets were custom built by Swan Cabinets in Santa Barbara. And the fridge is a Samsung (purchased on Black Friday at Home Depot at a heavy discount — that’s a good time to shop by the way!).

Any lessons learned?

We budgeted that having custom cabinets was only $1,000 more than IKEA cabinets — what a no-brainer, we thought! — but then we didn’t account for painting the cabinets, which, of course, cost way more than we thought, resulting in a much pricier scenario than our first calculations (insert face palm here).

And this wasn’t a mistake for us but should be a consideration: We got honed Carrara marble countertops, which are beautiful and will stain. I just let stains and scuffs happen (I think it adds to the patina and personality of the kitchen, but after the first stains, man I cringed!). I think the counters are perfect for people who have a loose attitude about wear and tear, but would be a nightmare for folks trying to keep them pristine.

And finally, the layout. It’s a square-shaped room with a large opening facing our future dining room (currently the living room — we’re remodeling). Now that we have a kid, I’d like to add an island so I can face the room where he’s playing. I think it will be an easy fix and will end up being more inviting.

Does your dream kitchen live up to all the kitchens you have shot and what you envisioned?

Honestly, the kitchen is a bright spot in my house and mind every day. I cook a lot, drink a ton of tea, and care for a small family, so I end up spending a lot of time in here. It’s wonderful and I’m very lucky to have a jolly, colorful space that is functional too. My husband led the charge in making every detail more personalized, quirky, and us, and for that I’m thankful because the process was long and arduous — hard to see the light at the end of the construction tunnel, you know?

In the end, the color and vibe is totally from my dreams, which haven’t changed much since I was 7 years old.

Would you go through a renovation again?

I would, but now that I know the scope and toll — emotionally and financially — maybe I’d just enroll myself in a good yoga series and sign up for a healthy meal delivery service to eat in our bedroom rather than eating Mexican takeout almost every night for four months.

Source

https://www.thekitchn.com/leela-cyd-kitchen-renovation-tour-254846

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Loan Zone: Home Improvement

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In this bigger-is-better world, sometimes it’s beneficial to remember the small(er) things credit unions can do to help their members. Mortgages are a major source of income for financial institutions, but what if your member already owns a home and needs help with renovations?

Telcoe Federal Credit Union, Little Rock, Ark., has been offering a solution since 1968, when CEO Sarah Mosley, a CUES member, heard about a home improvement loan product and thought it would be a good to help homeowners in the area.

Karla Walls, mortgage manager for the $354 million CU, says, “Back then, there weren’t equity loans, so there wasn’t that option for a second mortgage. So you were doing some kind of unsecured loan. In 1970, the average cost of a home was $10,000. … A member called in because they were getting water to their neighborhood and needed to cover the cost of the line to reach the city utilities. This could exceed $3,000. Unsecured loans in that amount were not heard of at the time.”

Telcoe FCU got approval for its FHA first mortgage program in the early 1980s; it was easy to go through the process again for home improvement lending. “It gave us the opportunity to offer home improvement loans without having to worry, since these are insured by FHA,” explains Walls. “The only risk we have is 10 percent of the loan.” The maximum loan amount is $25,000 for a private residence.

Common reasons for home improvement loans at Telcoe FCU include paint, flooring and updates to electrical. “Anything that’s not a luxury item. No hot tubs!” quips Walls. (The loans can be used for “any improvements that will make your home basically more livable and useful,” according to HUD.gov, which includes appliances but not things like swimming pools and fireplaces.) The CU has also made loans in conjunction with grants from the city of Little Rock to help bring historic houses up to code, especially those owned by senior citizens or people with low income.
 
Telcoe FCU also offers resources and advice to members seeking help with certain kinds of home improvement. For example, if homeowners want to reduce their energy bills, credit union staff will let them know about programs from local utility companies, such as Entergy Arkansas Inc. and Centerpoint Energy, to help bring down costs. “They’ll do this for free,” says Walls. “They’ll go to your house and let you know where you could make energy savings. Then members get a discount on their energy bills, and we can offer them a loan for the improvements.”

Home equity loans have since become commonplace, but there are still reasons to consider a home improvement loan instead. First, home equity loans aren’t quite as attractive as they once were; with the new tax law that went into effect this year, there is no more interest deduction on HELOCs and other home equity loans on a principal residence. Second, it’s not always possible to get a home equity loan, depending on the member’s type of residence and the market.

“This product helps you find a way into a market [like mobile home communities] where you might not otherwise have a foothold,” adds Walls. “FHA’s underwriting guidelines are more flexible, so you can insure a loan for somebody with a 615 [credit] score, and it gives you peace of mind. You want to be able to offer them something, but you don’t want to go out on a limb in an unsecured fashion.

“When the housing crisis brought home values down, it left members without equity,” explains Walls. “Members may have put 10 to 15 percent down on home in 2007 and, in 2017, the home is only valued at what is owed. There is no equity available, and members need an option for emergency repairs, such as for heat and air [conditioning] units, roof repairs or other updates.”

The loan product is also helpful in a situation common to that area of the U.S., being on the edge of Tornado Alley where mobile home owners often need to build separate storm shelters, since they lack cellars or other storm-safe rooms you might find in a traditional home. Such shelters can cost anywhere from $4,500 to $6,000. 

“We started the program working with storm shelter companies,” says Walls. “We have quite a few loans in that area. If you have somebody who lives in a mobile home where you can’t offer a traditional home equity loan, you can offer this small loan, so they can do improvements. … The regulators and examiners don’t want you loaning on those things, but this gives us a way to give those members an option.”

In 2017, Telcoe FCU loaned about $470,000 to members through the home improvement program. The marketing message to new homeowners is simple: “You just bought your house, and you don’t have a lot of equity. Here’s an option that lets you do the improvements your house needs.” They include reminders about the product in the CU’s regular newsletters and email blasts, but there are certain times when the weather does the marketing for them.

“In summer, our big ones are for air conditioning units,” notes Walls. “You can get those [loans] through quickly. You’re not dealing with a mortgage, so you don’t have those seven-day waiting periods. That’s a nightmare! If you can do a loan and not deal with the wait, that’s a good thing.”

Danielle Dyeris CUES’ assistant editor.

Source

https://www.cues.org/cu-management/columns/loan-zone-home-improvement

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Unfinished Basement Ideas: 20 + Basement Renovation Tips

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For a house with limited land or space, addition of a room is usually done by adding a floor. The addition of the floor to the top is often chosen. But, there is nothing wrong if you want to try to add floor to the bottom by adding basement. Even though basement is mostly found in big buildings such as malls and offices. But you are also able to add basement to your house. There are a lot of basement ideas, and one of them is unfinished basement. Here are all about unfinished basement ideas.

Unfinished-Basement-Ideas
Unfinished Basement Ideas image source :

The Benefits of Having Basement in Your House

Compared to adding a floor to the top, having basement in your house actually gives you some benefits. It is because soil is a kind of material which has the capacity to absorb heat. The ups and downs of soil is also relatively stable. That is why basement is mostly has a cool temperature.

It is different from room addition to the top which the sun lights directly comes through the room. If you want to have addition of room in your limited space house, and want the room to be cool, basement may be a good choice for you. Not only give you additional room, basement is also able to give you room with stable temperature.

Tips to Have an Unfinished Basement

If you ever see a room or a building with the wall is done without finishing such as only coated with cement, this kind of look is called as unfinished style. Actually, unfinished is just a term, it does not mean that the room or the building is really not done yet. Because if it is noticed in detail, the room or the building has already gotten finishing touch in order to make it long last and easy to clean.

This unfinished style is used in order to complete an industrial style. Unfinished style is usually used for basement. Here are some tips to have an unfinished basement in your house.

Choose a Suitable Technique Of Finishing

Basement with unfinished style is able to look pretty with the right aspects of decoration. Unfinished style has a different kind of look. Mostly, there are 2 looks of unfinished style, they are the one with grey color with different tones, and the one with only one tone of grey.

With just a little bit difference, this 2 looks of unfinished style for your basement has its own uniqueness. The finishing techniques which are needed to be done in order to complete unfinished style for your basement are Polished Concrete Wall, Fibre Cement, Seamless Concrete Wall, and also Faux Concrete Wall Finish.

Spruce-Up-Unfinished-Basement
Unfinished Basement ideas image source :

Accent Wall or the Entire Wall

You are able to apply unfinished style to the entire wall of your basement or just some parts of wall of your basement. If your basement is dominated by other styles such as Bohemian style or classic style, you are able to apply unfinished look as a feature wall or as an accent wall in order to increase the value of your basement. You are able to add other furniture or components which are made from different material such as wood, which is able to make your basement even prettier.

Entire-Wall-Unfinished-Basement
image source :

Combine with other materials for a different touch

Another way to make unfinished look become prettier for your basement is by combining it with other materials. If your basement is dominated with concrete walls, you are able to combine it with wooden furniture for example. The natural colors from the wood will bring warm and twisted atmosphere to your unfinished basement.

unfinished-basement-wall-ideas
image source :

Combine it with other colors

As it is said before, unfinished basement ideas are mostly dominated with grey color, both with only one tone of grey or various tones of grey. If you think that the color of grey from unfinished look is too dark or gloomy, you are able to combine it with any other colors. It is because grey color is able to be included in neutral color.

Combine it with your favorite color, grey is even able to be combined with screaming color. The combination of grey color with screaming color will make your unfinished basement look more cheerful.

unfinished-basement-color-ideas
image source :

Unfinished Basement Ideas

If you think unfinished basement is only able to be used as a warehouse, you are wrong. Basement with unfinished touch is also able to be used as any other rooms. Here are some ways to use your basement with unfinished look.

Photography Studio

Do you have a hobby of photography and want it to make a business? You are able to use your basement with unfinished touch as a photography studio. The unfinished look in your basement will be a great background for your photography.

The experts of photography mention that the color of grey is really suitable for photography background. As it is said before, unfinished touch is the domination of grey color, both with one tone of grey or various tones of grey. But in order to make your unfinished basement as your studio of photography, the ceiling of your basement need to be at least 9 feet or 10 feet height. It is because the height of the ceiling will affect the the quality of the photos you produce. And of course you need a reflector and flash, since natural light from the sun is not possible.

Pantry and Supplies

If the area of your kitchen is limited for you to safe your food ingredients, you are able to use your unfinished basement. Keep your dry goods or non perishable food ingredients in the basement. But you need to keep the dampness and the temperature of your unfinished basement stable, so that the food ingredients you safe there are not easily damaged. Or, you are able to to use your basement as the place of your supply of wine. Those are all about unfinished basement ideas.

Source

http://thefischerhouse.net/unfinished-basement-ideas/

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I want to see this discovered on a home improvement show

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